please take me out of my body

i'm getting so bored of these four walls. i'm exhausted from doing nothing. today i fell asleep at four PM and woke up at 8PM...guess who's not sleeping tonight! haha. my first day of the new semester at FIT starts saturday, that's gonna take up practically my whole day. the freshman/ sophomore social is at night, i'm going with emma and dri....we're gonna be wearing sparkly spandex outfits and painting our faces...yessssss hahahaha. my other friends i can feel them getting confused and just a touch irritated with my friendship with emma and adrianna and people like that. this bothers me. my other friends haven't really been reaching out to me OR being very interactive with me....so i mean, it's only natural that i want to seek out other people to spend my time with if YOU'RE not gonna do anything with me. they're irritation is completely unjustified. 

i'm finding it hard to give a shit about anything ever. i went to the supermarket with tim the other day and bought some flowers. then when i got home i set the flowers on my desk and was gonna go put them in a vase. i just....didn't. they're still sitting there and waiting. i feel so guilty about them dying. i just wish i cared enough to do anything.

i feel so disconnected from music. the fact that i have no music on my macbook and i ost my earbuds is making it hard for me to really feel like it's a part of my life anymore. wow i can't believe i just said that. i just wish there was more music i liked. i don't like anything.

i'm going on saturday (during my hour long break at FIT) to LUSH to buy some more products. the fresh farmacy and eu roma toner that i've been using are just fabulous, just amazing. my pores have tightened astronomically and the redness around my nose is decreasing. my face IS a tad bit dryer but that's just because i'm using all this new product without balancing it with a good moisturizer. i'm basically satisfied :)

it's my dad's birthday tomorrow. i love him very much but i don't understand him. we have an inconsistent relationship. i've been working extra hard to be nice and polite to him.

i'm a perma-sleepy head. i'm gonna go wash my face and sleep.

goodnight new york

kimia